Just good friends?
by KeLiS
Summary: Its just Adam and Jeff...are they just good friend? Its my first fic so be nice
1. Good Friends?

Disclaimer: I dont own  
  
Matt and Jeff staring into space. It was offical, they felt lost. Being away from the ring was the worst thing they ever had to do. Matt, feeling alone...nothing for him left in this world...Jeff, feeling nutral, like nothing was real. Adam, obviously aware that his two friends were going insane slowly. Adam saw Jeff...nothing to him...he used to be this amazing creature, who had everything he ever wanted, who made fun out of aluminum foil. Matt, one of his closest friends, just plain... nothing-ness  
  
Vince made the worst decision of his life by cutting Matt and Jeff... from that day foward, they feel into a deep hole. Alone, a hole of darkness, and all they had was eachother...or so they thought.  
  
Adam, destrought by the fact that two of his best friends, were not able to continue on with their dreams. He thought to himself "I cant do this...I cant be in the ring knowing my best friends are unable to do so." ...the next day Adam quit.  
  
Slowly following Adam's lead, Shane and Shannon quit too. They all made a promise, they wouldn't sign with the WWE again unless they could all be together.  
  
Weeks went by and nothing changed. Adam feeding off of Jeffs saddness.  
  
"I cant do this Jeff, we have to go out...move on!" Adam said demandingly to Jeff. "I want to...but how?" Jeff replied sadly "Get out of this slump, hang out with me,...me and you just like the old times." "Well, maybe I can try it...its worth a try"  
  
That night Jeff and Adam went out...having alot of fun at a club..drinking and talking about good times.  
  
Adam realized then and there he loved Jeff, but was too afraid to admit it.  
  
Jeff started talking about how he feels, and how he wants to be back in the ring, as tears compeletly covered his eyes...all Adam could do was hold his hand and tell him it was all going to be ok.  
  
"I dont think I have ever felt this hollow...nothing is to me...all I wanted was to be a wrestler...what do I do now...? I feel like my heart is empty" Jeff said. "I gave up everything for you and Matt and your complaining...we have eachother now, so please, give me a fucking break and try thinking about me for once!" Adam said showing his side that hes been hiding with all his saddness. "I didnt fucking ask you to give up shit!" Jeff screams and stands up practly throwing everything off the table.  
  
Adam stands up and tries to calm him down. Jeff screams and recultenly pushes Adam into the wall. Adam changes the position and slams Jeff into the wall. Adam thinking "this is perfect...Adam,...make your move.." and thats exactly what he did. He moved in and kisses Jeff directly on the lips. Jeff in absolute shock, kisses back with passion he had never felt before. He breaks the kiss slowly, and gave Adam a blank stare..."no" was all he could let out, as he stormed out of the club.  
  
Walking home Jeff sat at the beach, staring at the moon, and he pulled out his scissors. Carving words to express how he feels in his skin... He sat there watching the blood dribble down his arm...not affected by the pain he was inflecting on himself.  
  
Jeffs P.O.V  
  
What was that? Adam...I know how I feel about him but I am not supposed to care. I am not supposed to have any feeling for him. He is not what I fucking need right now, all I need is myself. I want to be alone. I dont want to hurt Adam though, I care about him, everyone knows I do. He is one of the best friends I have ever had, what am I to do though, I dont want to hurt Adam, thats the last thing I want to do. 


	2. Friendship? or NO?

Disclaimer: I dont own  
  
Adam went home and noticed Jeff wasnt there yet. He was worried, he sat on the front porch. Waiting and waiting. Slowly falling asleep on the top step, he quickly opens his eyes when he felt someone near him. It was Jeff, covering him up, "you shouldnt stay out here, its cold...dark, you have no clue what could happen to you"  
  
Adam just sat up, ".......dont act like you care now......" "But I do, yeah I do, I just can't run up to you and show you, Adam. I'm not like that, I know how you are and how you've been treated...I just dont want to hurt you"~Jeff Looks into Adams eyes. Then he just walked inside, as if nothing happened.  
  
Adam sat outside, not knowing how to react. Did that mean he wanted to be with him the way he had always hoped? He walked inside after a while, seeing a light on in the kitchen, he slowly approached the room, there he saw Jeff sitting on the counter.  
  
Jeff didnt look at him, keeping his focus on the outside, but he knew Adam was there. "Its not that I dont want to be with you, god..I do..you think that its so easy! I cant just sit here and be with you. Matt hates the fact that I want you that way, I care what he thinks but I also worry. I dont want to hurt you, I just want to be with you like nothing else. "  
  
Adam, "Jeff, if you want me, you can have me. You should know that by now.." Adam slowly approached Jeff, thinking of how he was going to let Jeff know how badly he wanted him.  
  
Jeff and Adam knew they wanted eachother. Adam leaned in and kissed Jeff. Jeff kissed back letting out a soft moan into Adams mouth. Jeff was slowly running his fingers to the bottom of Adams shirt, slowly lifting and removing it.  
  
Adam's P.O.V  
  
What the fuck am I doing? Does he want this or is he only doing this because I do? God, he feels so good...I just want him to take me...turn me into his little play toy...I would give anything for that!  
  
Moments later Jeff lead Adam upstairs to one of the bedrooms. Laying him down carefully as if he really wanted him, not just some lil *toy* he could play with, yet the playing...dont count it out...Jeff always loves his *playmates*.  
  
Jeff slowly kissing down to Adams stomach, he got a grip of his warm flesh and tugged at it lightly. Looking up at Adam with intense eyes, seeing that Adam was enjoying every bit of it. Slowly he bit him harder, breaking the flesh and watching the blood dribble down Adams stomach. He licked the trail of blood, up to the wound. He loved the way Adam tasted... 


	3. Is it worth it?

Disclaimer: I dont own..and yeah  
  
it takes place days later, when Adam told Jeff he loved him...Jeff's no where to be found.  
  
_  
  
Adam say alone in his room wondering where Jeff was, as he had been doing for days. He called Matt, Shannon, and Shane, asking if they heard from Jeff every hour.  
  
For the first time in a long time Adam felt alone. He always had someone around. Now he had millions of people around him all day long...but not Jeff...so in Adam's mind he was alone.  
  
Jeff on the other hand, not being known, and being alone was the only time he felt happy.  
  
After time Jeff called Adam:  
  
"Hello?!" Adam answered quickly, as if he were waiting.  
  
"this is what I told you about. I would fuck up and hurt you--"  
  
Adam cut him off mid-sentence, "Jeff! Just come back, come back to me please? I'll do anything you want...just come back"  
  
"Shut the fuck up and let me talk! I told you everything would get fucked up. I told you I wanted it. I didn't want to know you felt it. I wanted you to feel love for me.. but I didn't want to know it. I know I make no sense now...I think I'm just gonna *disappear*. Don't try and fight me. I'm through. I can't do it anymore. I've had enough fucking up...bye Adam..." Jeff didn't hang up...he didn't want to *disappear*. He just thought it would fix everything.  
  
"Don't hang up...Jeff just tell me where you are. I'll come there. We can be together. Away from everyone, just you and me. Remember you said you wanted that? Remember? Don't fucking leave me...when i need you. Don't you get it? I need you HERE? Don't you--"  
  
All Adam heard was the dial tone.  
  
Jeff hung up. He sat alone. He didn't know how he was going to *disappear*. He had 10,000 thoughts in his head. He went in his pocket and pulled out his knife. He figured just cutting himself deep enough to bleed to death would be the best. That way he could watch himself die slowly. He could cause himself enough pain...to forget everything he feels inside. He could go numb, and no one would notice he was gone.  
  
He slowly ran the blade up and down his arm. Hoping for the courage to press down. He closed his eyes...took a deep breath...and pressed down...  
  
"Life and Death. Energy and peace...if I stopped today, it was fun, even the terrible pains that have burned me and scarred my soul. It was worth it, for having been allowed to walk were I walked. Which is to hell on earth. Heaven on earth,back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, over and above it." 


End file.
